与家人度过他们需要你的时光[5月27日家庭月信息]

家庭月信息｜与家人度过他们需要你的时光

5月27日

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朱志山牧师

经文: 提前5:4，8；林前11:10；弗5:25-27，32；林前7:25-31

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有些人很困惑，因为觉得家人不需要他。有些人很内疚，因为没时间多陪伴家人。另外也有些人清楚知道家庭需要他，但是因为自己种种的志向或想要追求的人生，所以不愿意将多一点的时间留给家人。无论我们领受了再多的家庭教导，若是最终没有将足够的时间给予家人，接触他们，我们是无法将神的教导实践出来，我们也无法造成蒙恩的家庭属灵环境。因为人毕竟有心灵，且有肉体。人是一定要接触，才能产生沟通，且彼此影响。特别是家人需要我们的时候，那是很关键的时刻，因为那时我们向他们所说，为他们所做的都会刻印在他们的心版，深深的影响他们。其实，人有很多精神与情感的需要，特别是当他们感到脆弱或迷茫时，他们不是不懂怎么做，但他们需要被扶持、肯定、指引，他们的心才能够会坚强，按着真理而做。所以，圣经有很多嘱咐众圣徒当要彼此牧养的教导，与家人更是如此。“需要” ，是我们人性的一种本能。当人有需要的时候，他的吸收力是很强的，他被满足的经历很容易刻印在他们的心。按肉体来说：我们肚子饿时，吃什么都能吸收消化，且能享受。倘若不饿，吃什么都没味道。同样的，当人的心灵很“饥饿”，需要爱、关怀、肯定或指点时，人是会领受我们给予他的一切的帮助与扶持。他所得的那满足也会深刻在他心中。但我们也要晓得魔鬼也清楚知道人的性情有这样的通道。所以，假道、错误的教导、似是而非的道理是在人的心灵很迷茫或枯干时最容易进到他里头的。许多人的家庭也是在此通道给魔鬼留地步。若我们看很多婚外情的例子，都是有一方从另一方得不到满足时，结果便陷入泥潭。有些孩子也是因为没得到父母足够的关怀和陪伴，以至交上损友，或是沉迷于游戏机。他们都是在极其需要时，掉入错误的满足而跌倒的。所以，有些孩子也因为父母没有在他们的心灵还幼嫩时陪伴他们时，自动向父母怀着有一种说不出的冤屈。他们过了那个阶段，“不得满足的心”已经形成为一种伤害，所以需要更长的时间来得医治。这些人往往自己需要什么都说不出来，因为他们心灵的机能已经有所变质了。可能旁边的人看他们时，只会论断他说：“你看这人总是不会想！你看他整天沉迷手机和电脑！你看他的态度这么自我！”这是因为他的心灵已经出现 “故障”了，以致无法正常的感应到自己的需要，甚至他有可能会去追求一个不能满足自己的东西。可能他需要的是与人深入的关系，但他一直找寻钱财和成就来得满足，却不能得满足。其实，今天的辅导家已经将夫妇与儿女的问题分析得太复杂了，提供的方法也太多了。教会也受这些影响，提供太多不符合圣经的方法来医治人的心灵和家庭。其实，人的心灵是神造的。只要我们按着神的话和神给予我们的关系得滋润，人的心灵自然会痊愈，家庭自然会幸福。让我们明白一个事实，就是神是在我们最需要的时候（在罪中困苦流离）来拯救我们，让我们也学习如何在我们的家人有需要的时候，与他们度过那时光。

Some people are very perplexed, because they think their family members do not need them. Some people are very guilty, because they do not have time to accompany their family members more. There are also people who clearly know their family members need them, but because of their own aspirations or pursuits in life, they are unwilling to set aside a bit more time for family members. No matter how many family teachings we received, if we eventually do not make enough time for our family members, to make contact with them, we are unable to practicalise God’s teachings, we also cannot create a blessed spiritual environment for the family. Because afterall, humans have the spirit and the body. There must be contact between people, then can develop communication, and be influenced mutually. Especially when family members need us, that is very critical moment, because what we say to them and do for them during then, will be impressed upon their hearts and deeply influence them. Actually, humans have many mental and emotional needs, especially when they feel vulnerable or lost, it is not that they do not know what to do, but they need support, affirmation, guidance, then their hearts can be strengthened and they can act according to the truth. Thus, there are many teachings in the Bible instructing all saints to shepherd one another, and even more so with family members. “Need”, is a kind of instinct in our human nature. When a person has needs, he will absorb greatly, his experience of being satisfied will be very easily impressed upon his heart. In terms of our flesh, when we are hungry, we can absorb and digest whatever we eat, and can enjoy. If we are not hungry, there is no taste in whatever we eat. Likewise, when a person’s spirit is very “hungering”, when he needs love, care and concern, affirmation, or advice, he can accept all the help and support we give him. The satisfaction he received will also be carved deeply in his heart. But we also must know the devil also clearly knows human nature has this channel. Thus, false word, wrong teachings, seemingly right but actually wrong truths most easily enter a person when his spirit is very lost or dry. Many people’s families also leave foothold for the devil in this channel. If we look at many examples of extra-marital affairs, it is when one party does not get satisfaction from the other party that he/she eventually sinks in the mire. Because some children do not receive sufficient care and company from the parents, so they befriend bad company, or become engrossed in computer games. They all fall because they received the wrong satisfaction during times of extreme needs. Therefore, some children automatically harbor a kind of unspoken grievance against their parents because the parents have not accompanied them when their spirits were still tender and delicate. After they passed that stage, “dissatisfied heart” already became a kind of hurt, so it needs longer time to heal. These people often cannot express what they need, because the mechanism in their spirits is already impaired. Perhaps when people look at them, they will only judge them, saying, “You see, this person always cannot think! Look at him, he is always engrossed in handphone and computer! See how selfish his attitude is!” This is because his spirit already had some “malfunctioning”, such that he cannot sense his needs normally, he may even pursue something which cannot satisfy him. Perhaps what he needs is a deep relationship with people, but he keep seeking satisfaction from money and accomplishments, yet he is not contented. In fact, today’s counselors have already analyzed marital and children problems too complicatedly, they also offer too many methods. Churches are also influenced by these, offering too many unbiblical methods to heal people’s spirits and families. Actually, human spirit is created by God. As long as we are nourished by God’s word and the relationships He gave us, our spirits will naturally be healed and families naturally be blissful. Let us understand one truth, that is, God came to save us when we need it the most (harassed and helpless in sin), let us then also learn to walk through with our family members in times of their needs.

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