走进婚姻的荣耀男女[5月8日家庭月信息]

家庭月信息｜之二: 走进婚姻的荣耀男女

5月8日

主日信息

朱志山牧师

经文: 创2:25；3:1-7,12-13,15,21

课题: 家庭, 婚姻与恋爱, 心理医治, 罪与试探,

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随着时代的改变，家庭单位被削弱，夫妇的角色被轻视，神为婚姻定的原理就跟着改变吗？不然。相反的，我们神的子民在这时代当要借着真理活出更荣耀即优美的婚姻。在谈到婚姻之前，我们先必须明白神给男女的角色是从来不改变的，乃是人的罪性使人往非真理的导向执行而体贴自己的难处，所以一旦时代改变，丈夫为妻子牺牲，妻子凡事顺服丈夫的荣耀关系就大大受到挑战了。就比如说：倘若一个女人受的教育越多，越能干、越会赚钱，她自然会觉得更难顺服她的丈夫，就是在公司里给男同事基本的尊敬也是难上加难。当丈夫在社会里面对越多挑战，受到有限时间、精力、经济的挑战，加上自己的妻子无法理解他的压力时，他若仍要带着爱护妻子的心，掌握带领妻子的智慧就会大有难处了。看起来，这都是实际的难处，但是当我们追根究底，会发现根本问题是人里头的罪性将人的心思意念转离真理，以致叫他体贴婚姻里的自然难处而不靠圣灵取得更优美的夫妇生活。其实，夫妇两人若要在婚姻里成就神的美意，取得两人都能在灵性与智能进步、关系更亲密、同工更有果效，一定要面对实际夫妇生活的炼净，靠着圣灵对付在夫妇生活中常体贴罪性的部分了。那罪性就是叫我们不能走出婚姻里的舒服境界，以致无法更深的爱彼此，更实际的帮补彼此。试想，当一个女人更有学历才干时，他是怎么顺服自己的丈夫？请参考《箴31:10-31》有关才德妇人的榜样。她的智慧、爱心、殷勤、管理家事的巧妙使丈夫满有荣光，一生有益无损，因此使丈夫的心依靠她。记住，她并不是因她的才能来贬低或是要求丈夫，乃是用她里面一切的善德与美德来叫丈夫成功。对一个丈夫来说，当他面对能力的局限，无法得着能力与智慧保护家庭或是面对生活的挑战，那就是他非要集中祷告，专心靠主的时候了。倘若他只带着血气，向家人施加压力，或是对家里的问题置之不理，他只会叫家庭的属灵环境越来越糟糕。其实，当我们来到一个对婚姻越来越轻视的时代，我们要认知这是因为人已经无形中成为越来越自我，毫无舍己之心。当男人成为自我，他越来越失去神造男人的气概。他成为越来越感性，越懦弱，连自己的感受都不能制服，因此更不能保护自己旁边的女人。当女人成为自我，她越来越失去神造女人所拥有谦顺的能力。她不愿意，也不懂得让男人做头。相反的，她相信自己的判断过于神所定“顺服与帮补”的原理。因此，她也常常有意无意的践踏丈夫的尊严，使丈夫感到更渺小。基于这点，在我们还没谈到婚姻之前，我们更是要深思神在基督里所给予我们的男性与女性。当我们连“男人的荣耀是怎样，女人的荣耀是怎样”都弄不清楚，我们实在是谈不上幸福的婚姻。确实，神是用男性与女性的结合来造成一个家。所以，在一个最幸福的家庭，妻子是晓得关注丈夫，丈夫是晓得关注上帝，在这当中，两人才能常常将神同在的背景带到家中。不管时代怎么改变，这是一个绝对废不掉的原理，也是我们夫妇生活中继续要揣摩的。

With changing era, the family unit is weakned; the roles of husband and wife are being de-valued; does the principle of marriage established by God change along with it too? No. In contrary, God’s children ought to live out a more glorious and beautiful marriage by the Truth in this era. Before we talk about marriage, we need to understand that the roles of man and woman given by God have never changed. However, the sinful nature in men leads men towards the untruths, yielding to their own difficulties. Hence as the era changes, the husband sacrifices for the wife, and the glorious relationship in which a wife submits to the husband in all things is also greatly challenged. For example: if a woman is more educated, capable, earn more money, naturally, she may find it even more difficult to submit to her husband, even giving the basic respect to the male colleagues can be challenging to her. When the husband meets more challenges in society, being tested in time, strength, and finance, if his wife cannot understand his stress and yet he wants to keep the heart that loves and protects his wife, it will be a great difficulty for him to grasp the wisdom in leading his wife. All these seem to be realistic dilemmas, but as we go to the root problems, we will then discover that the root problem is the sinful nature in men which distorts human mindsets away from the truth, causing them to succumb to the natural difficulties in marriages instead of depending on the Holy Spirit in attaining a more beautiful spousal living. Actually, if a couple would like to accomplish God’s perfect will in their marriage, to advance in spirituality and wisdom together, becoming more intimate in relationships, and more effective in co-working, they have to go through the refinement from realistic spousal living and rely on the Spirit in tackling the areas in their spousal living where they tend to yield to their sinfulness. That sinfulness obstruct us from walking out of the comfort zone in marriage, disabling us from loving each other deeper and helping each other more practically. Ponder this – as a woman becomes more educated and capable, how can she submit to her own husband? Please refer to <Pr 30:10-31> on the example of the wife of noble character. Her wisdom, love, diligence, and art of managing the home affairs all bring glory, good and no harm to her husband. Therefore, the husband has full confidence in her. Remember, she does not look down or demand from her husband because of her capability; instead, she uses all her virtues and noble attributes to help her husband to succeed. To a husband, when he encounters limitation in his power, unable to receive power and wisdom to neither protect nor face the challenges in life, he must go into concentrated prayer and focus in depending on the Lord. If he is hot-tempered, he will exert pressure on his family or ignore the familial problems, only worsening the spiritual environment of the family. Actually, when we are in an era which increasingly de-value marriage, we need to know this happens because men have become more self-centered and lack a sacrificial heart. When a man becomes self-centered, he will all the more lose the masculinity created by God. He becomes more sensual, coward, neither control his own emotions nor protect the woman beside him. When a woman becomes self-centered, she will lose the power of submission created by God in women. She is unwilling, and does not know how to let the man take the headship. Instead, she believes her own judgment more than the principle of “submission and complementarity” established by God. Hence, she often tramples on the husband’s dignity unknowingly, causing the husband to feel even more inferior. Based on this, before we talk about marriage, we need to meditate deeper the masculinity and femininity which God has given us through Christ. When we are unclear of “what is the glory of a man, and the glory of a woman”, we cannot touch on a blissful marriage. Indeed, God creates a family through the union of men and women. Hence, in a most blissful family, the wife needs to focus on the husband, and the husband is to focus on God, and only through this can both bring God’s presence into to the family. No matter how the era may have changed, this is a principle that can never be abolished, and we ought to continue to explore in our spousal living.

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